BATTLING AIR, CONTROLLING KITTENS, KEEPING SCATTER-PROOF ARMLOADS OF SHINY, SLIPPERY MARBLES IN WHITE GLOVED HANDS: I've tried! It doesn't work! Good luck with that!

New Book: Discerning Spirits: Visionary Gifts in Practice (May 2013) Kindle, Nook, / Download $3.99 / Soft Cover at Amazon: $12.00 

With addiction comes chaos and even a demonic imprint since addiction is a stronghold; a means of bondage.  How do we keep that away from others that we love as we seek to protect these relationships and peace in our homes? These were challenges I wrestled with as my husband, whom I loved very much, relapsed after thirteen years of sobriety.  In 2010, much of what I wrote and prayed centered on such bondage as I struggled to balance healthy boundaries with a fierce desire to help and change the situation. All the while, what I really wanted, was my sober, healthy, and loving husband back. We read and hear that the first step in being free, no longer being part of the problem, is the full realization that we are powerless over the addict.  Initially, deep down inside, although I gave lip service to this concept, I didn't believe it.  

Powerlessness runs counter to our makeup as human beings. We want to believe that our love; that something we do or say, don't do or say, can make the difference. We have, after all, emotionally and lovingly invested in this person. For those who read this you may be thinking of a son or daughter. How easily we confuse parenthood with ownership.  With a minor, someone under the age of eighteen, you have the legal right to insist on treatment.  With an adult loved one there are no such rights. Throughout, when all is said and done, and whatever the relationship there are expectations, plans and dreams to grieve the loss of... and so, we hold on tight.  Despite what we posture and say we find it difficult to practice the old adage, "let go and let God."

To think in such self important terms is the stuff of original sin; a lie and a slander. In the throes of addiction the addict can not and does not love, can not and does not care that we love them except in terms of how this facilitates manipulation.

So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy (Romans 9: 16).


This little quoted verse frees me to focus on prayer. It frees me from myself and realigns my thinking, moving me away from those self important lies I'd like to indulge and especially when, in the throes of self pity, I'd so long to believe that my love, and a shared history of intimacy, should or could make a difference.

I'm not someone who considers herself an expert on anything. Fasting is a practice not entirely understood by me. And yet, I am someone that is moved at times to practice fasting as an adjunct to intercession. Fasting isn't a legalistic guarantee of anything, but it does remind me of my dependence on God and the bodies vulnerability and transient status. As I fast I'm more focused on eternity.

Today, as I pray for the addict in my life, I also pray for the addict in your life. The truth is that addiction takes many forms; all of them self destructive patterns of behavior rooted in satanic bondage.  Here is something I learned as chaos and disappointment, loss and grief stole my peace of mind.  You can set bottom lines, establish protective boundaries, decide you will no longer live in chaos and still love. For me, I knew I could not have a ministry and live with an addict. It is an act of love to get out of the way so that Jesus Christ can work; so that we can adopt different modes of response.  In the beginning I tried to do what I thought was right, but finding truth, accepting the truth was a process.  Sometimes I was bargaining with God and not really praying.  I made lots of mistakes and you will too.  There are lots of people who will tell you what to do.  I say be kind to yourself.  Get into God's word and let Him speak to you.  And... if you can; join a support group like Al-anon.  You'll get to where you need to be.   For too long I was herding kittens.  


With the page to Romans open my eye fell on this verse.

But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us (Romans 8: 37).
and... My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth (Psalm 121: 2).

And here is something to consider. With an addict in our life, whether physically present or removed as mine is, we need to consider that God has a work to do in our lives as well. This work is of equal importance. We learn to give up the lie that we can or should exercise a power and control that only belongs to our Savior, Jesus Christ. Since original sin, the propensity to sin is always with us, we find we must fight the dynamics of usurping some kind of power daily and even hourly. So then it does not depend on the man who wills or the man who runs, but on God who has mercy (Romans 9: 16).

If you are having trouble figuring out appropriate boundaries, can't say "no", say "no" and then get worn down to a "yes" feeling emotionally manipulated...  giving in when you know you shouldn't recognize that you need help.  Not only do you deserve help; you need it. No one should go through this alone and those closest to us usually can not be objective.  Below is a link to another blog that may be of interest.
http://www.alexandraclair.com/2010/07/cognitive-barrier-that-evil-destroys.html

Take a deep breath. Let it out. Take another and exhale that compulsion to control beyond what is healthy or even right. Let go and let God.  Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.  Amen

For those of you that have a heavy heart...  you are not alone.  Here is a prayer that you might say or even incorporate your own words.  You can hate the addiction, recognize the demonic imprint at work and still love this person.  Many times I prayed certain passages in the psalms back to God.   Insert your loved ones name where there is a space to do so.  

If you do not know the Lord Jesus Christ, pray now and ask Him into your heart giving authority to the words of the prayer that follows.  Jehovah God said: I was found by those who did not seek ME; I became manifest to those who did not ask for ME.  And so right now God is at the door of your heart.  His Spirit is manifest to your spirit. This powerful Savior, Jesus Christ, is tuned to you so that you may turn to HIM.  Call on His name, acknowledge your deep need for health and forgiveness.  ...for, "Whoever will call on the Name of the Lord will be saved" (Romans 10: 13).  

Father God, please identify all fallen spiritual entities, demons, creatures, or territorial spirits serving Satan who hold, _____, in bondage.   In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth who came in the flesh, I humbly ask You to destroy those evil spirits assigned, involved, or responsible for executing or enforcing all tasks associated with the bondage of ______.   Frustrate and take away the desire and all relationships that make possible access to these life stealing substances.  
This prayer includes myself, and any part I play in sustaining the bondage, rather than depending on You, Jesus, to work.  Please forgive me.  
Each time I enable the addiction by any means, let there be a catch in my spirit that I will recognize as a call upon my conscience to change my own behavior and confess this sin.  Lord Jesus Christ, please bring people into my life who can hold me accountable so that I can remain faithful to You; no longer controlling or enmeshed in unhealthy and ultimately damaging ways. 
Now Jesus, I hold up my hands to heaven.  Please rescue and restore ______.   I ask that Your Mighty Heavenly Hosts would be sent to arrest and escort all those satanic elements that converge in addiction and hold ______ in bondage.  Send them to the throne of Almighty God, to receive Your righteous judgment.  
Let every curse, spell, tie, ritual vow and instrument be canceled forever.  
Free me also Jesus to love You better.  Free, _____ to know and serve You.  

Christ Jesus says:
Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden; and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy, and my load is light (Matthew 11: 28-30).  

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world - our faith (1st John 5: 4).  



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